Tag Archives: Chris

A Missing Few Days

No internet meant no devotional blogging for a few days.  In the absence, Chris had his surgery.  It was much more complicated than anticipated and took about 5 hours.  It’s all over now and the recovery is in progress.  He’s already frustrated at sitting around but I’m so grateful the worst is behind us.  At least I hope so.  We wait to see if it is cancer or not but the doctor was very confident it was not.  It will just be nice to know for sure.

The people in our lives are awesome and to see them rally around us with prayers, texts, calls and even a visit in the waiting room from Gramps and Grandma was amazing.  Thank you, Lord, for our people.

Had a profound release today while reading TPDL.  I am always feeling badly that I am not able to influence the unsaved to have a relationship with God.  I am serving in a variety of ways in the Church and I love that.  But I have often diminished that and saw it as second best.  We’ve been focusing on evangelism in church lately and that has increased my desire to reach people for Him but it has also left me feeling like I’m not fulfilling my call to the unsaved.  There are definite ways I can grow in this area.  I am thankful I am in a conversation with Lisa about that now.

For years I have had the name, “My Brother’s Keeper” in my heart.  I saw it as a counseling ministry but since I am not a qualified counselor it was a desire unfulfilled and seemed actually impossible to ever become a reality.  I am thinking now that my entire purpose is just that and I am involved in it now.  With my youth group girls, Sunday School and even my full time job.  I am serving God in the local church and this is highly valuable to Him.  Yes, I am called to share Christ and as God gives me opportunity I pray I’ll be faithful to that.  But… I am so grateful and will stop apologizing that my ministry is mainly with the saved family of God.  This is a privilege and I’m so excited to realize this today.  This is the life He gave me.  That He chose for me even before I was born.  These are the people He has put in my life.  These are my neighbors. This is my home.  This is my church.  These are my youth group girls.  These are my friends.  This is my family.  This is my job. (and when I say “my” I am very aware that none of if it actually MINE but what I mean by that is that He has given them to me to serve Him).  To God be the glory for great things He has done.

Grateful to be “My Brother’s Keeper”.  Lord, you are good.

To balance this God also had me read John 4 today.  I realize that Jesus’ ministry was teaching once he had called his disciples and then He released them to serve Him and do the same.  I also can teach those He has brought in my life and release and prepare them to serve Him well as they grow.  But Jesus also took the time away from His inner circle and met the woman at the well.  His meeting with her was intentional and even though he was tired, hungry and thirsty He was ready to teach and proclaim truth to this woman.  Lord, help me look for those “well moments” and be faithful in what You would have me say to those you bring into my life who do not yet know you.

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Easter Weekend and Monday Morning

Had a great Easter weekend.  It was probably one of my favorites ever as far as Easter goes.  When the kids were younger it was fun to see them look for eggs and spend time with family but as they have gotten older it’s been different every year.  I missed having Jenny home this year but she said she was having a relaxing day with friends at school.

From Thursday night’s Maundy Thursday service through Good Friday and then Easter, church was fantastic!  For Easter we chose to stay home and invited Charles for dinner.  Grandma and Grandpa came over too and so did Nancy.  We played games on the porch with Charles and it was fun.  Chris was “off” yesterday (Easter).  He’s upset about bills and money and just tired of our constant money struggles.  I hate that it was hard yesterday for him.  He just seemed edgy all day and I was sad for him.  I know he misses our home in Ansonia.  I know he moved here for me and my job.  He rushes home after every service embarrassed that we live on property.  He tries to hide it…but I know it’s there.  I feel so torn and sad about that.  I’m so happy here and absolutely love my job.  I know this is for a season and not our end destination.   I’m just praying he can find joy here.  He says he’s happy and I  know for the most part, he is.  But seeing him miss the other house makes me feel terrible.
It’s becoming easier and easier to picture Charles as part of our family and I’m praying that God will bring he and Becky together at His perfect time.  And patience for me as I wait.  They really are perfect for each other.

Christopher is powering through with some nasty poison ivy but I think he had a good day as well.  He’s a funny kid and I’m grateful for who he is.

Peter gave Calvary staff the day off today.  I’m looking forward to relaxing and getting some things done around here.  Including grocery shopping. Weather is perfect.

I finished my Lysa T book.  It was good.  I also read John 2.   In Lysa’s book my favorite line today was on page 209 at the bottom where it talks about Prov. 29:18 and the difference between vision and revelation.  “Vision is something people produce; revelation is something people receive.  Leaders can dream up a vision, but they cannot discover God’s will.  God must reveal it.”  I like that.

God reveal Yourself to me in new ways every day.  Show me Your will.  Let me not be caught up in my own “visions” of what I think should be.

In John, I was struck by how the disciples saw Jesus do things, heard him speak and God used those things to remind them of who Jesus was and what He said when he died and was resurrected.  In their time of need…he reminded them of Scripture.

God, may your word fill my every need as I know it has the power to do.  Bring it to my mind at exactly the moment I need it.  Help me to be a good student of Your Word so that Your Spirit can bring it to my heart and mind at the perfect time.

I also loved the end of John 2 talking about how no one needed to explain what was in man’s heart to Jesus..  He already knows.  Yikes and Yay at the same time.  Scary to think how well he knows me and a blessing to know he loves me anyway.

Lord, I know I can’t hide anything from You.  And I’m grateful that you love me in spite of the junk in me.  Forgive me, Lord.  Cleanse me.  Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me.  Be blessed and pleased by me today.

Discouraging Days and Distressing Dilemmas

FullSizeRenderSo..The surgery for Chris is postponed due to paperwork glitch.  He is nervous about the surgery and wants it over with and this delay DIDN’T HELP.   He received that news after a big layoff at work.  His job is safe, Thank you Lord! but it is just unsettling at SBD right now and THAT DIDN’T HELP

Christopher did not get into WGU after all.  No clue what to do next but my worst nightmare is that I’ve screwed him up for his career path and THAT DIDN’T HELP.

Rebekah had a job performance review that she wasn’t happy with at Target.  She’s trying to be content while she waits for another job.  This review DIDN’T HELP.

As I was typing all of this out I was reminded that I should not be looking to circumstances for this help.  Every morning one of my favorite things to do is open the blinds in my room and look at the cross on top of the church.  Just yesterday…before all the bad news…I was thinking that I love that I can see that cross and it reminds me that when I “look unto the hills” I see my HELP!  Did I remember that throughout the day as the bad news poured in?…No.  But this morning–I sat down to type out the stresses of the day and was going to ask God to show me something encouraging in His Word (which I haven’t even opened yet)  as I typed the words, “DIDN’T HELP” over and over He reminded me of my thoughts yesterday.   I had to look up the verse in its entirety.

My Help Comes from the Lord

A Song of Ascents.

121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.

Lord, you are my help.  Circumstances are not going to help me, whether good or bad.  I trust you in all of the discouraging days and distressing dilemmas of life.  You are the Author of not only my story but of Chris’s, Becky’s and Christopher’s.  Write it as You will and do what brings you glory.  I trust you to redeem the mistakes I’ve made in home schooling Chris to give him a fruitful life in his chosen school/career.  I trust you to help Becky learn as she waits.  And I trust you to have her in the perfect job that you have created just for her to do.  I trust you to give her the patience.  I trust you with Chris.  We’ve been through layoffs before and maybe will again but you have always provided wonderfully for us.  Even miraculous at times.  I trust you with the timing of his surgery.

Lord, Please encourage my people today in a specific way.  I love them so…but You love them more.

Beginner’s Basic Blog

April 10, 2017

After reading the book, “Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl”, I was challenged to begin blogging my daily thoughts/devotions/prayers.

Yesterday was my 51st birthday.  This is significant because when my Dad died he was 50.  I can’t believe I am now officially older than he was when he passed.  I miss him all the time and wonder how he would do as a “Poppy”.  He never knew his 3 grandchildren and that’s always been hard for me to swallow.  But God is good and I don’t question His timing..  but sometimes it’s just hard.

Chris and I have 3 kids who are the joy of our life.   Rebekah (Becky) works at Target and we are so proud of her heart for serving the Lord.  I know He has great things planned for her and sometimes I struggle with the patience I need while waiting on His timing.  My mother’s heart for her is to see her married with kids and serving the Lord in a local church.  Her “career” to her will always be secondary to her service to the Lord.  She is impacting and influencing teen girls every week and it’s a joy to my heart to watch.  I think I’ve picked out a perfect man for her but we shall see about that as their friendship grows. 😉

Jennifer(Jenny) is finishing up her second year at Nyack and will graduate (Lord willing) next year with a degree in Criminal Justice.  She has a passion for prosecuting human traffickers and wants to pursue law school after this.  She amazes me daily with how well she is doing in school and her passion and work ethic bless me to the core.  My mother’s heart for her is that she will follow her passion and God will provide all that she needs to accomplish the career goals she has.  I pray that she does find a good man and I know she wants children too.  Sometimes I wonder how she will fit all of that in but if anyone can manage that, it’s Jenny.

Our “baby” is Christopher (Chris).  He is finishing up his senior year of high school and will be starting online college at WGU in the fall.  He is a great kid/man.  I’m very proud of his independence and his honesty.  He’s incredibly smart but he hates school and always has.  My mother’s heart for him is that we will realize his calling and full potential.  I pray that he will find a good woman and raise a family with her.  He will make a great husband/father and I am excited for him as he begins his journey as an adult.

I can’t believe we are almost done with our homeschooling years.  To be honest…I’m thrilled we are done.  It’s been the best thing for our family but also so hard.  It puts a lot of stress on me to make sure we get it done correctly.  There is SO much I would do differently about the “how” we did school but I wouldn’t change the fact that we did for anything.  I do not think it’s the best option for school but for us, it worked and it was good.

We recently moved to Trumbull where I was blessed with the job as Facilities Director for Calvary Church.  We live on property and love it.  I honestly can’t believe how blessed I am to work where I do with the people there.

And my honey—-the honest love of my life.  He is my best friend, caretaker and partner.  He makes me laugh every day.  He is having surgery on Wednesday to remove a tumor in his foot.  It seems like it will be “no big deal” but he will have a long road to recovery.

I will use this blog to post my devotions and also to journal our life.  I’m not usually consistent with things like this but I’ll give it a try and see how it goes.